#37 I May Not Understand, But I Trust

Photo by Shining Light Photography

This story was written while I was working in the Philippines with the International Justice Mission to free slaves.

600,000-800,000 men, women and children are trafficked across international borders each year. Approximately 80% are women and girls. Up to 50% are minors.

     US Department of State Trafficking in Person Report 2007

Slavery is the second largest global-organized crime, generating $150.2 BILLION Per Year. That’s more than the combined revenues of Amazon, Google, and Ebay every year. 

     International Labour Organization

The average cost of a slave today is $90. The average cost of a slave in 1850, in the American South, is  equivalent to $40,000 today.

     Free the Slaves

Nearly 1 in 5 victims of slavery is a child. The average age a teen enters the sex trade in the United States is 12-14  years old. Four billion people are living outside the protection of the law. 

     The United Nations

Discouraged. Dispirited. Disheartened. This is what my soul feels as I read these facts. With out-of-this-world statistics like these, how am I ever supposed to have hope? Working in this fight against human trafficking has almost left me feeling useless, worthless, and hopeless. These statistics aren’t mere numbers, but a harsh truth and reality in our world today. What are you to do when you live in a world where slavery still exists? When you actually witness women being sold—SOLD—for sexual acts against their will? How am I supposed to feel when I hear stories of pimps getting away with their dehumanizing actions because they are not facing any consequences, WHATSOEVER? High profits, low risk? Why not? They are not being punished or held responsible for their unlawful acts and are left to exploit even more women and children. What am I supposed to do when I see a foreign man walking down the street alongside a girl that is less than half his age? He has traveled far and wide just for one night of temporary pleasure and satisfaction, by paying for a girl that could be younger than his very own daughter. What about the stories I hear over and over again of actual families exploiting their very own children on the Internet? What are we to do when we provide every resource possible to a rescued victim, that promises her a new life and future, but yet she believes she is nowhere near worthy, and wants right back where she began? She doesn’t even want to be rescued.

You know what you are supposed to do? Have hope against all odds. Guess who is on our side? JESUS CHRIST! The Savior of the world. If God is for us, who can be against us? Whom shall I fear? NO ONE. When I feel as though nothing I am doing is making a change; when I feel like I have to keep doing more or figure out the answer to this global tragedy, I am reminded that this is not a “Brianna story”…. this is a “God story.” And the best part about this story is that we already know the ending. GOD WINS! Though I feel incapable, I feel worthless, and I am confused out of my mind, God has made known to me His promises. It’s nothing that I can do, but all that He will do.

Just read the story of Abraham.* Abraham received the promise of God that he would have a son when he was 100 years old, but Sarah was old and barren. Despite his old age and weak body, he still believed that the Lord would see His promise to him through. And He did! “Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say ‘it’s hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child.’ Nor did he survey Sarah’s decades of infertility and give up. He didn’t tiptoe around God’s promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what he had said” (Romans 4:19-24).

Abraham became the father of many nations because he had faith in God’s promise. Though it seemed impossible, God came through, as He always does. This is no surprise. “Abraham was first named father and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding not to live on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do” (Romans 4:17-18). I want to have faith like that. When I stand on a mountaintop overlooking God’s mighty, intricately designed and crafted creation, how could I ever doubt His overarching power and sovereignty? How can I doubt Colossians 1:17 when Paul claims: “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together”?

In His timing, justice will reign. Slaves will be rescued. And God will have the victory once and for all. I may not have the answers. I may not understand why the world is so broken. But that doesn’t shake the faith I have in the Lord. The odds may be against us, but God is for us. I will never stop believing or trusting that. I am banking my life on it. One thousand percent. Join with me in believing this. When all seems impossible, when you’re at your breaking point, believe that God has already won. Say yes to the mission He has called you on, and don’t look back. Have faith and hope in Him. “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses” (1Timothy 6:12).

Let’s pray for the girls God has rescued. The ones that are healing. The ones deciding whether they are worthy of His love. And the ones we have yet to reach. Pray for the abusers, the perpetrators, the lost, and the broken. Pray for their heart to lean into Christ’s and to break free from the bondage in this world. Words will never describe how thankful I am to be part of such a massive mission. And no matter how big it may be, how impossible it may seem, I will not give up! Because Christ has not given up on me. In due time, we will see the glory of the Lord prevail. And I can’t wait for that day! He has shown me His glory through His people and His creation. Because of what He has shown me, I will trust Him for that which I cannot yet see. Because of what Christ has done in my life, I have joy, assurance, confidence, complete trust, and surrender, despite the odds the world keeps throwing my way. I encourage you all to hold on to your hope against all odds. I promise, you will not be left disappointed.

“What do you mean, ‘if I can?'” Jesus asked, “Anything is possible if a person believes” (Mark 9:23).

*This message of hope through the faith of Abraham was brought to me at a breaking point while serving with the International Justice Mission combating human trafficking. A dear friend wrote me a letter before I had even left for the journey to the Philippines, and in God’s timing, I opened it when I was feeling hopeless. God is with us, everywhere we go, friends. Into the darkest corner of the world, He is there, making it light.  

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#18. I Love You Because I Love You

Photo by Erin E. Photography

  My husband is a pastor and has traveled to Africa numerous times leading mission teams. Although he always asked, I never felt led to go to Africa with him. But in the fall of 2015, it was as if a door opened and I knew it was time to go. Our group traveled through Swaziland, Africa—a beautiful country (like California meets Tuscany)—and the people were so loving and appreciative.

Part of our time was spent visiting villages with medical missionaries who lived full-time in the area. These visits to the villages were heartbreaking as there was much poverty, with many young children who were very dirty, naked, and shoeless, playing in the midst of shards of glass strewn about. No adults were watching the children or caring for them. Many women in the villages worked as prostitutes to the sugarcane workers in the fields nearby.

It was in one of these villages that I met a woman who worked as a prostitute and was also an alcoholic and in poor health. She had a young child who was not being cared for appropriately. The missionaries who lived in the area had visited her often and had shared the gospel with her many times, but she was not receptive. The day we visited her village, I asked her if I could pray with her, and she said okay.  God gave me a message of love to share with her. I told her this was the message God had for her: “I love you, because I love you, because I love you.”  

This message of God’s love for her provided the breakthrough she needed and she accepted Christ. Her life transformed afterwards. She has given up prostitution and alcohol. She is much healthier and is now able to care for her child. She lives with a missionary who is helping her find other work. Praise God for His message of love that saved this woman and her child.  

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#13. Clearing Rock For Seeds

Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

In the summer of 2015, I traveled to the small country of Oman (about the size of California) that is bordered by Saudi Arabia, Yemen, and the United Arab Emirates. I was with a team of teachers going to teach English as a second language to high school students.

During my time in Oman, I saw God do amazing things. There are only an estimated 15 native Omani people who are Christian. It is not illegal to be a Christian, but it is illegal for an Omani to convert from Muslim to Christianity, and it is illegal to convert anyone to Christianity. Oman is one of the hottest places on earth, with temperatures that may exceed 120°F during the summer months. It is an extremely dry country and rain in the summer is very rare. We arrived in Oman by driving across the border from Dubai, UAE. There were 30 people, all Christians, in our teaching team—twice the number of native Omani Christians in the country. About an hour after we crossed the Omani border, it started raining! It rained the next day and the next day after that. The local Omani people who knew English said this was a “huge blessing!”

Our group was welcomed by the government to teach English, knowing we were all Christians, and we were very respectful of Omani culture and rules. After a week of culture and language training, we began teaching English to the high school students. The students were so respectful. One of the first nights I was there, I prayed, “I want to love these kids like You do.” Immediately, He showed me a glimpse of His love for my students, and I was overwhelmed to tears. This prayer was answered. Loving the students became very easy and they became my priority. When I woke up, all I could think about was how I might best teach them and love them. It was wonderful to pray for each of them by name every day. One of the best students in the class, M, asked in her work journal, “Why are you so nice to me? Why did you come to help us?” I wrote back to her, “I came because Jesus loves you and loves me.” One night, when I was looking at a world map and praying, God spoke clearly to me: “I’ve loved your people. Will you love mine?” Again, I was overwhelmed and encouraged.

Yet another answered prayer came near the end of the trip. Our group had been praying for Christian missionaries who had been in Oman for many years. They had experienced great difficulty making any connections or friends in the religious capital, Niswa, where we were all staying. Our team consistently prayed that God would break the barriers between the people of Niswa and the missionaries. Before we left Oman, this prayer was answered and the missionaries had made friends with some of the residents of Niswa.

As we left Oman, I thought of a story about two Iraqi missionaries who had served five years without one person converting to Christianity. Because of a warning from the Lord, they had to flee the country. On the way to the airport, they were feeling very defeated and felt as though they had failed. Then, they saw several fields that had previously been filled with rocks, but the rocks were gone and flowers were blooming in their place. God then told them that they had not failed, but that they had cleared the rocks so that others could come and plant seeds for the harvest. This is how I felt about our time in Oman. May God be glorified for comfort and encouragement when we feel defeated, for answered prayers, for the blessing of rain, and for wonderful new relationships!

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#6. Saturated With The Glory Of God

Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

 I went to Cuba to minister in a number of house churches in 2004. On the eastern side of Havana, there are hundreds of tenement housing projects that were built in the 1950s to house Soviet Army barracks.  Now, literally thousands of people live in each building—and the buildings stretch one after another after another for miles and miles.  During the last morning that I was teaching, my interpreter didn’t show up. I don’t speak any Spanish and they didn’t speak any English. It was really awkward, being crammed into a small sitting room with about 40 people just staring at me, waiting for me to do something.

As I sat there looking at them, and as they sat there looking at me, I felt like the Holy Spirit engaged me in what became a running conversation. I seem to get in these talks often with the Lord, especially when I muster the audacity to kind of argue with Him:

“Sing.”  The Lord told me very distinctly.

“I don’t sing, Lord.”  Like He didn’t know that already!

He said it again, “Sing.”

“I don’t speak Spanish.”  Like He didn’t know already.

For the final time, He said, “Sing.”

“Sing what?”

“’Nothing but the Blood.’”

If you’ve ever been around me during any worship times, you’d know that I have a singing voice that only the Father could love! Ironically though, the Lord used me as the worship leader in a couple different congregations that I pastored when I was a missionary in the Philippines. He’s not really looking for technically proficient singers—just people who worship Him with whole hearts. 

Anyway, back to Cuba. In that small sitting room on that day in 2004, I opened my mouth and began to let it rip. I know this may sound cliché, but suddenly, it was as if Jesus opened the door and walked in the room. When I started singing, I felt like a big bottle of Coke: someone took the cap off and God came rushing out. The whole atmosphere became super-charged with the presence of the Lord. The air in the room began to feel so heavy that when I tried to lift my hands to Him in worship and adoration, I couldn’t even raise them above my head. After a few minutes, my feet couldn’t support me any longer because the spiritual climate of the room was saturated with the glory of God. I had the sensation that if I could just raise my hands above my head, then I could poke through the ceiling and all of heaven might fall down! 

People began to pray and sing in the Spirit, in Spanish, and even in English. I started gently laying hands on almost everyone present just to bless and encourage them—and men, women, and kids began to fall out all over the place. The power of the Holy Ghost was so pronounced that one guy even hit his head really hard against the wall on his way down, and I remember thinking, “God, this better be you…because if it’s not, that dude is gonna be in pain.” 

It was the most intense, power-packed renewal that I had ever experienced. Maybe the Lord wants these kinds of encounters to be normal? At any rate, this environment continued on for maybe 20 minutes until finally another interpreter arrived. Everyone kind of regained their composure, including me, and I began to minister through some of the material that the Lord had given me. As I’ve said about my singing, I’m not the greatest preacher on the planet, either. Yet that morning, as I stood there and simply talked about Mary the sister of Martha and Lazarus, people just wept and wept and wept. The floodgates were open. I talked about her posture—how every time she appears in the gospels, she’s always at the feet of Jesus.

The church couldn’t get enough. Jesus was in the room in the many-membered Body of Christ—singing, laughing, weeping, loving. His power and glory were on display in our midst in the most concrete, tangible way.  May it ever be so Lord!

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.