#23 What Was Missing

Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

I was first introduced to the idea of having a relationship with God when I was 14 years old, but I didn’t really comprehend the incredible blessing it was to have and build a strong relationship with God. I went to church and youth group meetings, but eventually stopped going and didn’t really think much about it. I wasn’t necessarily a rebel during my teenage years, but I definitely had my moments of selfishness and unkindness.

Fast forward to my freshman year in college where I was faced with many different challenges and obstacles that I never had to face before, and I knew that I needed something more in my life. I started going to church with a few close friends while living in Portland, Oregon, for the summer. The church we attended was amazing and I knew that this was what was missing in my life for the past five years. Over that summer, my relationship with the Lord grew and grew, and I accepted and trusted in the Lord again. Something I vividly remember was taking communion for the first time; I’ve never felt more at peace than I did in that moment. I knew when I moved back to Utah that I only wanted to keep building my relationship with God.

I decide to be baptized on February 14th, 2016, and since then my life has been so abundantly blessed. Without the relationship I have built with God, the trials that I face would be nearly impossible. I’m so grateful for God’s grace and the blessing to have such a loving and amazing God to serve.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#22. 54 Rejections

Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

One month before my high school graduation, I met the woman who would become my wife for 47 years and counting. We both lived in small, rural Kansas towns but went to different high schools. God brought us together just in time—right before I left for college. I had been a terrible teenager, but God changed my life through my wife. Despite my many poor choices in life up to that point, the Lord brought to me a companion who accepted me not based on my past but based on what the Lord was doing in my life through Christ.  I had recently committed my life to the Lord and repented of all the terrible things that I had done. We dated for approximately one year before getting married. She was always there for me as an encourager, helping me focus on the mission that God had laid before us. To this day, I continually praise God for the wonderful grace He brought to me that day in April of 1968.

I had wanted to go to the University of Kansas to become a chemical engineer, but my parents only had $500 for my college education, so I opted for the chemical engineering program at Kansas State University, which was less expensive. I had saved enough money to get through one year of college if I worked while going to school—so that is what I did. At the end of my freshman year and before starting my sophomore year, I married the young woman that the Lord had brought into my life 16 months earlier. We moved into the basement of my wife’s cousin and my wife worked to support us while I was in school.

In April of 1972, a month before graduating from college, my wife was six months pregnant, and I had no job offers and no insurance. Chemical engineers had previously been in great demand, but the year I graduated was the first year of the oil crisis and companies were laying people off and not hiring. I had 54 job interviews and NO OFFERS!

Finally, I had a job offer from a government contractor making nuclear bombs. This didn’t feel right to me; furthermore, my wife’s pregnancy and delivery would not be covered by their insurance. We had reached a point of desperation but again God in His perfect timing intervened. A company with which I had previously interviewed and was rejected by called me back for an interview in Michigan. I caught a plane as soon as I could, but when I arrived, the human resources director said they had hired everyone they were going to hire. I must have looked very disappointed because they said they would try and arrange an interview with the company across the street for the next day. 

The interview went well. The job was a perfect fit for what I wanted to do. They offered me the job with benefits that would cover my wife’s pregnancy and delivery! This was the only company with which I had interviewed who would cover the medical costs of a pre-existing pregnancy. Again, I had to praise God for His providential care. 

But there was one more hurdle. I didn’t have a car that would make it to Michigan where my job was located. There was no way for my wife and me to get from Kansas to Michigan. I tried to get a loan at the bank, showing them that I was to begin work at a big company as a chemical engineer, but they turned me down.  My grandmother, who knew the president of the bank, offered them the money she had set aside for her burial as security for our car loan. They agreed and we were set! Once again, God had provided, this time through my grandmother.  

There were many more lessons that the Lord had to teach me. One was the lesson of humility. On my first day at work on my new job, my manager told me that prior to offering me the job they had narrowed down the choice to two people. The other person was so overqualified that they decided to offer me the job. This helped me see that it wasn’t my efforts that were the key ingredient in my life, but rather the Lord’s direction and control over people, places, and circumstances. I don’t know what my future would have been at any of the 54 companies that turned me down, but the job I ended up getting—across the street from one of those 54 companies—turned out to be an incredible opportunity.

I worked 32 years with that company. I became the executive director of Science and Technology for one of their major businesses and was one of their top-compensated employees in the company. I was able to see and do many amazing things, including living overseas with my family for four years. 

Praise God for the 54 rejections. Praise God for the one offer that was just in time and provided so well for our family. And praise God for my wife whom God used to transform my life. Praise God that I am now able to be a full-time missionary, leading an agency dedicated to taking the gospel to places where Christ is not known. Praise God that I can do this without requiring any funds for my own living expenses and thus return 100 percent of the donations to the Lord’s work. And finally, praise God for the hundreds who are giving their lives to Christ because of His work in this ministry. To God alone be the glory.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#21 He Heard Me! He Answered Me!

Photo by Killian Rose Photography 

My freshman year of college I went to Naples, Florida, with my boyfriend (who is now my handsome husband) and his parents for spring break. To give a little background, it is important to know I struggled with severe and at times crippling anxiety for years prior to this event, really since I was in middle school. I grew up in a Christian home and and went to a Christian school my whole life, so I knew about God and that He sent His only Son Jesus to die for our sins. I had heard scripture and the truths within it my whole life, but I struggled to believe real grace applied to me. I struggled to understand that no matter what I did or thought, His blood and sacrifice was truly more than enough to cover it all. For me. I had no trouble believing it for everyone else, but why for myself?

This struggle and inability to feel truly forgiven and saved caused me to put God on the back burner toward the end of high school and into my freshman year of college. I invested my heart and time into my friends, school, and my social life, to try and distract myself from not feeling forgiven or that I was enough for Jesus. I continued down this path and started to feel farther and farther away from God. Friends and school weren’t enough to keep me distracted. I wanted more; I needed more. I needed to be reassured God was with me and loved me and I was enough. 

This brings me to spring break in Naples my freshman year. I remember so vividly sitting by myself down by the pool, trying to read my Bible and seek hope that He was still there with me. I randomly thought about Gideon and the sign he asked God to give him in making the fleece wet but the ground dry, and then to make the fleece dry and the ground wet. This was to reassure him that God would use him to save Israel (see Judges 6:36–40).

I thought to myself, God answered Gideon—maybe He would answer me if I asked him to give me a sign to reassure me He was with me. I thought of a butterfly in my mind; specifically, a picture of a yellow butterfly popped into my head. So I took the leap of faith. As I sat there beside the pool by myself I prayed, “Lord, if You are truly real and really here with me now, please send me a butterfly as a sign that You love me and are with me.” I sat there quietly for a few minutes, staring at the water in the pool and wondering if it was wrong what I had asked God to do, not having enough faith on my own.

As a stared at the water, a beautiful yellow butterfly flew right in the line of my vision, almost as if God was saying, “This is too good; you can’t miss this!” I thought my heart was going to explode. He heard me! He answered me. He was with me and loved me so much that He would send me not just any butterfly, but a yellow butterfly, just like I saw in my mind!! It was the sweetest, most affirming and faith-building moment in my life.

This was five years ago and every time I think back to it, it still reminds me of God’s amazing goodness and loving patience in so clearly reaffirming His love and presence in my life. Today I walk in so much more confidence, knowing our Father’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice in becoming sin on the cross for us is and forever will be more than enough for me and for all of His children

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#20. His Power Through My Weakness

 Photo by Erin E. Photography

This is the story of how a Father gave me courage, and how He connected the hearts of two of his daughters.

It was late one Wednesday evening in Penang, Malaysia. Every Wednesday, a small group of four or five women and myself would go out onto the dark (in every aspect of the word) streets near our small apartment with the intention of piercing through that darkness with the illuminating hope of Jesus.

Evangelism is not a natural task for me. I feel timid, awkward, and afraid of saying the wrong thing—especially in this strictly Muslim country where it is illegal to share the Word of Christ. Wednesday night street evangelism was always an evening that filled me with dread. Fear would creep its debilitating words inside of me and tell me that I couldn’t do it. It would make me wonder, “What if I get caught?” or “What if someone asks me a question that I don’t have the answer to and I look like a fool?” I knew in my head that Jesus was above this fear, but I didn’t know it in my heart enough to step out in faith. I preferred to stay in the background of the group—or try to mask my fear by saying something like, “I’m not going to talk to anyone tonight; I’ll just pray over the city as we walk.” This wasn’t honorable; it was cowardice.

This Wednesday night in particular was especially dark. The sky was black and the moon and stars were nowhere to be found. The urge felt stronger than ever to back out. But that night was different. I knew that this was an area where I lacked faith as well as courage, but this time I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9. Paul begs the Lord for the thorn in his side to be removed, but each time he makes his plea, the Lord responds with: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Yes, Lord! I am so weak, but I don’t have to give in.

“Allow Your power to work through my weakness” was my prayer as we were preparing to leave. As we left our apartment, the sky was rumbling in protest. My small group huddled together to pray to allow the Holy Spirit space to reveal what direction He wanted us to go. After a few moments of prayer, none of us felt a specific urge from Him so we decided to just start walking. We walked and we walked and we walked. We bought water for a homeless lady. We tried to approach a sketchy-looking group outside of a hostel. But it all just made me feel awkward again. Before long, the rumbling sky released its hostage.

The rain was soft, but we ducked into an indoor/outdoor café for refuge. As we sat down and ordered some drinks, I felt downtrodden and defeated. “Lord, I thought that this was the night!” About that time, I looked to my left and saw a Chinese woman in her mid-twenties, sitting alone at a table. I instantly felt a pull toward her. I knew I needed to speak with her—but of course I argued with God instead. She’s going to think I am crazy. What do I even say?!

After a few moments of wrestling inside my head, the young woman got her check and stood up to leave. I was admittedly relieved when I saw her standing up. I missed my chance, but also avoided an awkward encounter. As she neared the exit, that’s when the skies really opened. I have never seen so much rain in my life. In that moment I knew that God had trapped her…and me! I wasn’t getting out of this one.

When she saw that it was raining too hard to go outside, she resumed sitting at a bar facing the street. Without giving myself enough time to talk myself out of it, I stood up and plopped down beside her.

“Hello!” I nervously chirped.

She looked at me, very confused, but courteously nodded my way. Then I was frozen…now what?! I simply asked her if she spoke English, and she replied that she did but very poorly. I then asked if she was planning on staying at the restaurant until it stopped raining, and when she said yes, I asked if I could sit with her. She hesitantly consented, clearly still confused about my intentions.

However, after only moments of speaking and asking questions, it was clear that she was not only at ease, but that we were natural friends. She went on to tell me that she was studying in Singapore, but on vacation by herself in Penang. I kept trying to inquire why she was alone, but she always cleverly avoided the question. Eventually, there was a lull in conversation and we both became quiet. It wasn’t an awkward silence—more of a pensive one.

Before long, she broke the silence. “Megan, I am here alone because my heart is broken and I don’t know how to fix it.” She then began to open her heart and her tears flowed as unrelenting as the rain. As she revealed her hurts and struggles and fears with me, God was able to use me to speak words of hope, truth, and life into her. I told her that He wants to fix her broken heart, and that He will never hurt her. She told me that growing up in China she had never heard the truth of the gospel spoken to her before. The life and the hope that Jesus offers was a whole new phenomenon to her.

We cried together and she let me pray over her. I told her that we have the same Father, and that makes us sisters! We exchanged emails and to this day we chat about life and struggles and hope. She hasn’t made the step to accept Jesus as her Lord and Savior, but I know that she will. Because I acted on the courage that God had given me, I was able to plant a seed in her heart that other people and the Lord will continue to water.

Every day we pass people on the street. Every day we make small talk with someone behind a cash register. Our purpose is to bring God’s kingdom on earth, and we have the opportunity to do that every single day. Step out in faith. I was afraid of feeling awkward, of saying the wrong thing, of me looking like a fool. How selfish is that, when eternity is on the line? As someone once said, “The Holy Spirit doesn’t lead us into ease.” Once we accept that, and get over ourselves, we can literally save lives. 

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#19. Showing Me His Heart

Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

 My freshman year of college I was depressed and hopeless. It wasn’t like me. I used to chase after what I thought was Jesus and I used to be happy. But my life had changed and I was defined by drinking, smoking, and filling my life with lies and “friends” who were actually just people that were just as depressed and hopeless as me. I would do whatever it took to feel like I was having fun. I replaced joy with temporary pleasure.

Halfway through the year I decided that I wasn’t going to continue living this way, so I decided to sign up for a summer camp. I wanted to go on staff and be a counselor. I mean, I liked kids and I would probably meet some cool people, so why the heck not? Not to mention, I would be getting paid.

The rest of the school year went on and I had Jesus on the back burner. It’s difficult to stop living life in a pattern that you’ve created for yourself. Finally, summer arrived and I was going to camp. To make an extremely detailed story short, Jesus wrecked me. Through leadership, community, and unconditional love, Jesus showed me what life should look like through Him. Leading kids at camp challenged me and put me in situations where I had nothing to rely on except for Jesus and His wisdom. The community at this camp was so uplifting. The friends I made, especially toward the end of the summer, helped to set a foundation for myself going into the school year. I remember praying at the end of camp, asking God to provide me the same kind of community when I got back to school. All I could think about was how horrible the year before was. I had no idea what Jesus was going to do. I came back from camp, got involved in one of the most amazing college ministries in the United States, and never looked back. Jesus has outdone what I asked Him to do, and has provided me with something so precious. I have an endless amount of friends and people constantly pouring into me. I even have the opportunity to pour into others and lead like I did at camp. Jesus can do so much once you make the decision to seek Him and give up everything else for His heart.

I’m learning and growing more and more every day. Each phase of life I go through is showing me more and more about His heart. I can’t wait to see where my faith will be and where the faith of everyone around me will be in the next six months. I know Jesus is doing radical things in this community.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#18. I Love You Because I Love You

Photo by Erin E. Photography

  My husband is a pastor and has traveled to Africa numerous times leading mission teams. Although he always asked, I never felt led to go to Africa with him. But in the fall of 2015, it was as if a door opened and I knew it was time to go. Our group traveled through Swaziland, Africa—a beautiful country (like California meets Tuscany)—and the people were so loving and appreciative.

Part of our time was spent visiting villages with medical missionaries who lived full-time in the area. These visits to the villages were heartbreaking as there was much poverty, with many young children who were very dirty, naked, and shoeless, playing in the midst of shards of glass strewn about. No adults were watching the children or caring for them. Many women in the villages worked as prostitutes to the sugarcane workers in the fields nearby.

It was in one of these villages that I met a woman who worked as a prostitute and was also an alcoholic and in poor health. She had a young child who was not being cared for appropriately. The missionaries who lived in the area had visited her often and had shared the gospel with her many times, but she was not receptive. The day we visited her village, I asked her if I could pray with her, and she said okay.  God gave me a message of love to share with her. I told her this was the message God had for her: “I love you, because I love you, because I love you.”  

This message of God’s love for her provided the breakthrough she needed and she accepted Christ. Her life transformed afterwards. She has given up prostitution and alcohol. She is much healthier and is now able to care for her child. She lives with a missionary who is helping her find other work. Praise God for His message of love that saved this woman and her child.  

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#17. Learning Not To Hide Hardships

Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

 Last night at the Bible study I lead, our group of girls sat in a circle and went around calling out wonderful qualities and spiritual gifts we saw in each other. It was a night of laughter and encouragement, and our hearts were full by the end of it. For me, the 20-year-old women told me they were encouraged by my positive and giggly personality and my peaceful presence. My eyes brimmed with tears at their kind words and also at the path I realized God has rescued me from.

Sometimes Christians will talk about what they think their life would’ve looked like had they not given their life to Christ. For me, I am certain I would be dead from suicide. I grew up in a stable Christian family and had a wonderful childhood, but at the time, I did not see it this way. I believed that no one in my family loved me. I felt invisible and unwanted. I was always too much and not enough. The first time I cut myself was in fifth grade and the first time I made myself throw up was in ninth grade. I thought seriously about suicide at different points in fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth grade, and again during my sophomore year of college.

I became a Christian in seventh grade, but unfortunately, my struggles continued. I knew Christians were supposed to “struggle” with sin just like everyone else, but I never saw any Christians who really were. Everyone was doing what they were supposed to, and I was dying inside. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I didn’t want anyone else to find out, so I kept my fears to myself.

The Lord grew His love in me throughout high school and college and I slowly began giving my whole heart to Him in new ways. But when I lost my grandmother my sophomore year of college, suddenly all the hurt and loneliness I’d struggled with came back. I wanted to die. I was hurt that no one around me was noticing my struggle and, at the same time, I was desperately trying to hide the severity of my depression. I knew Christians weren’t supposed to want to end their life, so I hid my shame.

Breakthrough began when I started telling people—people who loved Jesus more than they loved me. First my roommate, then my mother, then slowly the people around me. God loves to use His people to love us better, and that’s exactly what He did once I stopped hiding.

Sometimes I still feel indifferent to everything, unmotivated, and down, but I don’t need to hide this from anyone, least of all my Father. I am freer than I have ever been. Once God convinced me to let go of my desire that no one would ever know this part of me, I began to see the fruit of not hiding sin and hardships.

The girls in my Bible study know pain, discouragement, grief, and hopelessness, and God uses me to provide the community and empathy that I longed for during those dark times. We are all better together. God has used us to encourage each other and usher in His peace and love.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#16. Upside Down Priorities

Photo by Erin E. Photography 

My journey with God began when I was 15 and accepted Jesus as my Lord at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes Camp. At that time I thought Christianity was all about rules. I tried to be perfect and quit drinking and cussing, but gave up after six months. I attended FCA camp three more years and each year I did the same thing: committed my life to Jesus, tried to be perfect, and then failed. By the fourth year of this I had pretty much given up that I was ever going to be able to do the Christian thing.

In my twenties, money and power became my god. I was chasing the American dream, making as much money as I could and partying hard. I wanted to become like my father, who was a successful businessman.

By age 28, the wheels had fallen off. I had become an alcoholic and a drug user.  I didn’t want to live anymore. I completed a faith-based program to stop drinking and learned that every addiction is a spiritual issue at its core and therefore requires a spiritual solution. A real relationship with God is needed.

In the next few years, I felt Him pulling me in, but I still had a hard time with Jesus because of my early failures with Him. God sent a Christian mentor to help me, and one day when I was talking with him I asked him what was up with the blood sacrifice of Jesus. I didn’t get it. He said I should ask Jesus my questions—and so I did. We were at a restaurant, and in an out-loud conversational prayer, I talked to God saying, “I need to know the real deal. If Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life…if this is true, I need to know it. I don’t want my fear or pride to block me from the truth.”

This was a turning point in my life. Things started changing. Soon after, one day in my quiet time God sparked my imagination and gave me a picture. I saw a fishing boat in the ocean, like a 50-foot Bertram with a fighting chair in the back. There was a fisherman in the fighting chair with a big rod and reel and a fish on the line. The fish was swimming away from the boat, and I knew that Jesus was the fisherman and I was the fish. There was no real anxiety on the boat. Jesus just watched the reel spin and every now and then He’d tighten the drag on the line to make it harder for the fish to swim away. Finally, the fish tuckered out and allowed the Big Fisherman to reel him in. When I realized Jesus had been there all along and never let me go, I felt an overwhelming love for Him. Before this, the verse “for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son…” just didn’t feel personal to me. But Jesus was showing me how it was personal. He was showing me in a way that I could understand and relate to.


Since then, I have been on a 23-year journey to go deeper with God. I have had visions of Jesus that have taught me more about Him—that He has a spirit of play, but also a spirit of absolute intensity when it comes to bringing His children back to Him. Jesus taught me that He wasn’t trying to mold me into a good little boy scout (that I didn’t want to be) or put me in a jail cell. He was trying to keep me out of jail! He wasn’t trying to take away adventure, but to set me on the greatest adventure of my life.

God showed me that He wanted in on all of my life, including my business and finances. He showed me that my priorities were upside down. Once when I was praying, I saw a man spinning lots of plates on sticks, like the man on the Ed Sullivan Show years ago. I knew that this represented me in my business, always doing multiple deals, spinning many “plates” with little time for God or family or even any serious questions. I came out of that meeting with God somehow knowing that I was no longer to be defined by what I did or how much money I made, and knowing that God wanted me to make some big changes. I made a commitment to start no new business deals for three years. I also knew that what I was giving to God financially was a paltry amount, and that had to change. I thought for sure all these changes would result in me going broke. But I did them anyway, and I did not go broke. Although I’m not much into the “Prosperity Gospel,” I did learn that you can’t out-give God, and in this three-year season I was extremely blessed financially. I was also able to spend more time with God and my family.

Where has God led me now? With His help I am now learning to help others; sometimes it is helping people meet Jesus for the first time, sometimes it is helping someone get sober, sometimes it is telling people how much Jesus loves them. I have been abundantly blessed and I am thankful to God for many things. God helped me get sober. He helped me understand my true identity. He opened my eyes to the truth about Him, crafting a personal and powerful message that spoke uniquely to me. He helped me correct my priorities and live a more fulfilling and joyful life. God has given my life true purpose and meaning.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#15. The Artistry Of God

Photo by Erin E. Photography 

When I was 12 years old, it was discovered that I had an inherited disease that would eventually cause my body to become deformed. In fact, the deformation had already begun. When I was 13 years old, the doctor told my parents that my internal organs were being compressed and I must have surgery or I would die. The first surgery included the implanting of a rod and the grafting of a bone—but that surgery failed, as did the second surgery. I spent weeks in the hospital. After a third surgery, I was sent home with a cast that covered nearly half my body. I wore that hot, heavy, itchy cast for nine months—not able to shower, sit at my desk at school, or wear normal clothes. Unfortunately, after the cast was removed, the deformity continued to worsen.

Because the doctor was able to only partially correct my problem, chronic pain and embarrassment have plagued my adult years. Now, decades later, when I reflect upon the “Why?” I know that God has worked everything out for good in my life and the lives of others. I am now a health care professional and I know that I am more empathetic, compassionate, gentle, and understanding with my patients because of my own suffering.

I also believe that because I spent so much time in the hospital and recovering indoors, I developed a profound appreciation for nature. I can remember when I was first strong enough to get outside a bit while recovering from the surgeries. I walked around the perimeter of our backyard, which was separated from a farm behind us with a fence lined with trees and brambly bushes. The sky was a beautiful blue, the birds were singing, and the sun was warm on my skin. I soaked it in and experienced pure JOY and GRATEFULNESS to God. Being denied God’s beautiful creation for so long had given me new eyes and a new heart of appreciation for the beauty of nature. My eyes were opened to the artistry of God, and to this day, my eyes remain open to the wonderful free gifts we have in God’s creation.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person. 

#14 Healing Of My Wounded Heart

 Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

When I was 15 years old, I committed what I thought was an unforgiveable sin: I had an abortion. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about it. I was haunted by the memory and the guilt. I became angry and depressed. I tried counseling and even medication, but nothing truly healed my pain.

I kept this terrible secret for five years. Finally, I confided in a friend who led me to an organization called Assurance, and their ReKnew program. God worked through this program to help me deal with everything—the guilt, anger, and depression. I was transformed as I learned of God’s forgiveness and healing through our study of the Bible. At one session, each participant was asked to write down all of their sins on small pieces of paper and then put the papers in vases filled with water. Every one of the papers simply disappeared, dissolving without a trace. Gone. I finally understood completely the grace and forgiveness of our loving and merciful Father.

In the weeks that followed, God continued to mend the brokenness of my heart. We held a memorial service for our children and then were given time to be with God, asking Him to reveal to us what we should do to help us heal. I bowed my head. I had felt that my baby was a girl from the beginning. How I wanted to see her face! I closed my eyes. But it was light, not darkness that filled my eyes. It was as if I was looking through a window, and then . . . there she was! Beautiful long brown hair, a pink dress, she was skipping toward me. I could see her dimples and her teeth. She was happy. She looked right at me and smiled. It was wonderful! I finally felt the peace that had evaded me for so long. I could physically feel God healing my wounded heart.

The Lord has given me the healing that I needed; He knew exactly what to do. I have been redeemed by my Father who loves me unconditionally. I am fully renewed.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.