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Surrender, Freedom and Transformation

#37 I May Not Understand, But I Trust

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Photo by Shining Light Photography

This story was written while I was working in the Philippines with the International Justice Mission to free slaves.

600,000-800,000 men, women and children are trafficked across international borders each year. Approximately 80% are women and girls. Up to 50% are minors.

     US Department of State Trafficking in Person Report 2007

Slavery is the second largest global-organized crime, generating $150.2 BILLION Per Year. That’s more than the combined revenues of Amazon, Google, and Ebay every year. 

     International Labour Organization

The average cost of a slave today is $90. The average cost of a slave in 1850, in the American South, is  equivalent to $40,000 today.

     Free the Slaves

Nearly 1 in 5 victims of slavery is a child. The average age a teen enters the sex trade in the United States is 12-14  years old. Four billion people are living outside the protection of the law. 

     The United Nations

Discouraged. Dispirited. Disheartened. This is what my soul feels as I read these facts. With out-of-this-world statistics like these, how am I ever supposed to have hope? Working in this fight against human trafficking has almost left me feeling useless, worthless, and hopeless. These statistics aren’t mere numbers, but a harsh truth and reality in our world today. What are you to do when you live in a world where slavery still exists? When you actually witness women being sold—SOLD—for sexual acts against their will? How am I supposed to feel when I hear stories of pimps getting away with their dehumanizing actions because they are not facing any consequences, WHATSOEVER? High profits, low risk? Why not? They are not being punished or held responsible for their unlawful acts and are left to exploit even more women and children. What am I supposed to do when I see a foreign man walking down the street alongside a girl that is less than half his age? He has traveled far and wide just for one night of temporary pleasure and satisfaction, by paying for a girl that could be younger than his very own daughter. What about the stories I hear over and over again of actual families exploiting their very own children on the Internet? What are we to do when we provide every resource possible to a rescued victim, that promises her a new life and future, but yet she believes she is nowhere near worthy, and wants right back where she began? She doesn’t even want to be rescued.

You know what you are supposed to do? Have hope against all odds. Guess who is on our side? JESUS CHRIST! The Savior of the world. If God is for us, who can be against us? Whom shall I fear? NO ONE. When I feel as though nothing I am doing is making a change; when I feel like I have to keep doing more or figure out the answer to this global tragedy, I am reminded that this is not a “Brianna story”…. this is a “God story.” And the best part about this story is that we already know the ending. GOD WINS! Though I feel incapable, I feel worthless, and I am confused out of my mind, God has made known to me His promises. It’s nothing that I can do, but all that He will do.

Just read the story of Abraham.* Abraham received the promise of God that he would have a son when he was 100 years old, but Sarah was old and barren. Despite his old age and weak body, he still believed that the Lord would see His promise to him through. And He did! “Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say ‘it’s hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child.’ Nor did he survey Sarah’s decades of infertility and give up. He didn’t tiptoe around God’s promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what he had said” (Romans 4:19-24).

Abraham became the father of many nations because he had faith in God’s promise. Though it seemed impossible, God came through, as He always does. This is no surprise. “Abraham was first named father and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding not to live on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do” (Romans 4:17-18). I want to have faith like that. When I stand on a mountaintop overlooking God’s mighty, intricately designed and crafted creation, how could I ever doubt His overarching power and sovereignty? How can I doubt Colossians 1:17 when Paul claims: “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together”?

In His timing, justice will reign. Slaves will be rescued. And God will have the victory once and for all. I may not have the answers. I may not understand why the world is so broken. But that doesn’t shake the faith I have in the Lord. The odds may be against us, but God is for us. I will never stop believing or trusting that. I am banking my life on it. One thousand percent. Join with me in believing this. When all seems impossible, when you’re at your breaking point, believe that God has already won. Say yes to the mission He has called you on, and don’t look back. Have faith and hope in Him. “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses” (1Timothy 6:12).

Let’s pray for the girls God has rescued. The ones that are healing. The ones deciding whether they are worthy of His love. And the ones we have yet to reach. Pray for the abusers, the perpetrators, the lost, and the broken. Pray for their heart to lean into Christ’s and to break free from the bondage in this world. Words will never describe how thankful I am to be part of such a massive mission. And no matter how big it may be, how impossible it may seem, I will not give up! Because Christ has not given up on me. In due time, we will see the glory of the Lord prevail. And I can’t wait for that day! He has shown me His glory through His people and His creation. Because of what He has shown me, I will trust Him for that which I cannot yet see. Because of what Christ has done in my life, I have joy, assurance, confidence, complete trust, and surrender, despite the odds the world keeps throwing my way. I encourage you all to hold on to your hope against all odds. I promise, you will not be left disappointed.

“What do you mean, ‘if I can?'” Jesus asked, “Anything is possible if a person believes” (Mark 9:23).

*This message of hope through the faith of Abraham was brought to me at a breaking point while serving with the International Justice Mission combating human trafficking. A dear friend wrote me a letter before I had even left for the journey to the Philippines, and in God’s timing, I opened it when I was feeling hopeless. God is with us, everywhere we go, friends. Into the darkest corner of the world, He is there, making it light.  

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#35 Obedience to Speak Love

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Photo by Erin E. Photography

It has been the cry of my heart lately for this joy the Lord has instilled within me to spill over to His people. How sweet is this place—the place where we can stand before the Lord as the broken beings that we are and feel overwhelmed by the love He lavishes upon us when we feel so far from worthy. It is here in this place that we see that this love can’t just stay captive within us, but is meant to spread like wildfire among us. With this revelation, I have asked God to reveal my spiritual gifts to me and allow them to bless others. Being the faithful and sweet God that He is, He has done just that.

I was home in Cincinnati for the weekend and attended church with my mother one Sunday morning. We found a seat in the crowded room and began to worship. I am very observant and absolutely LOVE watching people worship Jesus, so sometimes I feel like the Lord wants me to worship by watching. When I do this, I see glimpses of heaven around the room, hearts surrendered, weights lifted, and expressions that long to see His face.

This particular morning there was a woman two seats from me that I could not seem to pull my eyes away from. She was PUMPED to be at the service. You know those people that you see at church that are about to just lose it because they are completely sold out on the love of Jesus that they may just fall out of their chair or burst through the ceiling? Yeah, well, she was one of those. It was awesome.

Worship ended and our pastor delivered his message. To be honest, I have no idea what it was about, because the whole service I heard the Lord telling me something about this girl that He wanted me to share with her. Me being the sometimes doubtful person that I am, thought to myself, No, this isn’t from the Lord; I’m making this up. I kept going back and forth in my head the entire service, and by the end of our pastor’s message I decided that I wasn’t going to say anything to her. Usually when I feel the Lord is wanting me to speak or deliver a message to someone, my heart is beating out of my chest, but it wasn’t in this particular case, so that’s what further supported my reasoning to not say anything. Shortly after thinking this, my heart began to beat really fast and I could hardly stand keeping the words in any longer. I was still dead-set on not saying anything though. But as we all know, God is persistent, strong, and fierce with his love, so He was not content with stopping there.

Before our pastor got off stage, he said, “I feel like there’s someone in the room that has a gambling problem and I want to tell you that he wants to deliver you from that. I just had to say that; I couldn’t be disobedient to the Lord.”

I then thought to myself, You’re funny God. Fine, I’ll tell her; I can’t be disobedient either. I tapped her on the shoulder and said, “The Lord has been speaking to me about you this whole service, and I’m not sure what this means to you but I feel like the Lord wants you to know that He is so proud of you and is holding the weight that you surrendered to Him.”

The woman began to weep. She reached out and hugged me for quite some time, crying in my arms while I whispered, “You’re beautiful” in her ear, and I just held her for a minute. I looked at her one last time, smiled, and went on my way.

I don’t know the story behind it all or what this meant to her, but I do know on that very day the Lord used the cry of my heart to speak love and life into hers, and for that I will be forever grateful. He hears our cries, he puts courage in our bones, and he uses His children to speak the language that only He could create—love. To Him alone be the glory.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#34 “Give Her Your Bible”

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 Photo by Erin E. Photography

There’s something about a Bible that’s been worn down over the years that speaks to my heart. Church bulletins stuck between the pages, corners folded down to keep your place, notes scribbled in the margins—it’s all beautiful to me. A lovingly worn Bible is, to me, a visual representation of an intimate history with God.

As you can imagine, I was very attached to my own Bible. It was a thick, leather Bible that was a light purple color. I never would have picked purple for myself, but my mom had chosen it for me, and I learned to love it. I often scribbled prayers and commentary in the margins of my Bible, and sometimes I stuck pictures of people I wanted to pray for between the pages.

I carried my Bible with me everywhere my first semester of college, which was an intense season of growth in my life. To me, that Bible represented a new intimacy with the Lord that I had never experienced before. Meanwhile, I was becoming friends with a very sweet, quiet girl in one of my classes. Neither of us missed class often, and we would talk every class period as we worked on projects.

Around Thanksgiving, she stopped coming to class. Two whole weeks went by, and she was never there. I became concerned, and so I asked the teacher if she had heard anything. She hadn’t. I didn’t have any way to contact her, so I just prayed for her. And, the next week, there she was when I entered the classroom. She told me about some personal things that had been going on, but there was no reason she should’ve been in class that day. Due to some health issues, she missed so much of her classwork that she could no longer get credit for her classes. So, there was no benefit to her even showing up for class that day.

I know that God is the reason she was there. That day, through the courage and guidance of the Holy Spirit, I invited her to coffee. A few days later, at the end of finals week, we met for coffee. We talked for a few hours about our lives, and although she was not an active Christian, God told me it was okay to talk to her about Him. He made it clear to me that her heart was ready to receive what He had to give through me. So, I talked to her like I would any other friend. I told her stories of God’s handiwork in my life, and dreams He was putting in my heart. She was eager to listen and share her own ideas and opinions.

As our conversation wrapped up, God made it clear to me that I was to give her my Bible—my beautiful, worn-in Bible that I loved so dearly. Surprisingly, it wasn’t at all hard to give it away. God whispered to me that seeing all my notes and underlines and pictures would help make her eager to dig into His Word. Rather than being sad that I had to part with my memento of a special season of intimacy with God, I prayed that God would impart that same season onto her.

Giving her this gift was one of the most joyful experiences of my life, and I know that God had planned it far in advance. When I handed her the Bible across the table, her eyes lit up as she said, “Purple is my favorite color!”

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#25 His Love And Light Lead The Way

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Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

I laid down ‘my career’ to follow Him.

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. (Philippians 3:7-8) 

I was baptized at Southland Christian Church on Easter of 2009. Having participated in my first Bible study just three months earlier, I was seeing Light for the first time and in awe of God. My life was surrendered that day and the pastor said that God would do a circumcision on my heart to remove whatever is blocking me from Him. Just three days later, the earth shook. My role with my company suddenly was changing and the Lord, in His love and grace, gave me a choice to make… Continue working in the glamorous industry of sports or lay it all down to follow Him. Thirteen years had been spent building “my career”… working for major companies, high profile people, and championship-level programs. I knew in my heart that God was calling me to do something else. So eight days following baptism, my resignation was submitted… laying down “my career” to follow Him. The next day, the Lord led me to write my testimony, repenting of a work-a-holic lifestyle where “my career” was the center of my universe. I had been a perfectionist, independent in about every way, materialistic, and in the race to be first. The Lord helped point me to a new vision with Hebrews 11:1 leading the way, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

I was hoping for three things in life…

  1. God’s grace

  2. That I do His will

  3. For that great, Christian man He has for me (whenever that may be)

And that my life would be…

  1. Full of faith and love for life

  2. Every day an exploration

  3. Every year a “Bucket List”

  4. Healthy and fit physically… in-sync with a free and joyful spirit

  5. Making a difference

  6. A bright light

  7. Balanced personally and professionally

  8. Valuing every dollar ($0 debt, saving, giving and receiving)

  9. Connected in a special way with people, animals and the earth

  10. Rock solid in God’s word

I also had a new passion for helping broken people and felt called to be a leader working for a great cause.

Seven adventurous years have gone by since then and the Lord is so good and faithful. The whole miracle of life is found in Jesus. In him we live with God’s eternal love and infinite grace… and He is that which truly fulfills us. For so many years, I sought fulfillment and happiness in career accomplishments and success, busy doing one deal after the other, and one task after the next. Now, His love and light lead the way and I pray to be thankful and content in whatever season we may be in. Love is patient, this I now know.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God had done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink and find satisfaction in all his toil – this is the gift of God”. (Ecclesiastes 3:11-13).

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#23 What Was Missing

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Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

I was first introduced to the idea of having a relationship with God when I was 14 years old, but I didn’t really comprehend the incredible blessing it was to have and build a strong relationship with God. I went to church and youth group meetings, but eventually stopped going and didn’t really think much about it. I wasn’t necessarily a rebel during my teenage years, but I definitely had my moments of selfishness and unkindness.

Fast forward to my freshman year in college where I was faced with many different challenges and obstacles that I never had to face before, and I knew that I needed something more in my life. I started going to church with a few close friends while living in Portland, Oregon, for the summer. The church we attended was amazing and I knew that this was what was missing in my life for the past five years. Over that summer, my relationship with the Lord grew and grew, and I accepted and trusted in the Lord again. Something I vividly remember was taking communion for the first time; I’ve never felt more at peace than I did in that moment. I knew when I moved back to Utah that I only wanted to keep building my relationship with God.

I decide to be baptized on February 14th, 2016, and since then my life has been so abundantly blessed. Without the relationship I have built with God, the trials that I face would be nearly impossible. I’m so grateful for God’s grace and the blessing to have such a loving and amazing God to serve.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#19. Showing Me His Heart

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Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

 My freshman year of college I was depressed and hopeless. It wasn’t like me. I used to chase after what I thought was Jesus and I used to be happy. But my life had changed and I was defined by drinking, smoking, and filling my life with lies and “friends” who were actually just people that were just as depressed and hopeless as me. I would do whatever it took to feel like I was having fun. I replaced joy with temporary pleasure.

Halfway through the year I decided that I wasn’t going to continue living this way, so I decided to sign up for a summer camp. I wanted to go on staff and be a counselor. I mean, I liked kids and I would probably meet some cool people, so why the heck not? Not to mention, I would be getting paid.

The rest of the school year went on and I had Jesus on the back burner. It’s difficult to stop living life in a pattern that you’ve created for yourself. Finally, summer arrived and I was going to camp. To make an extremely detailed story short, Jesus wrecked me. Through leadership, community, and unconditional love, Jesus showed me what life should look like through Him. Leading kids at camp challenged me and put me in situations where I had nothing to rely on except for Jesus and His wisdom. The community at this camp was so uplifting. The friends I made, especially toward the end of the summer, helped to set a foundation for myself going into the school year. I remember praying at the end of camp, asking God to provide me the same kind of community when I got back to school. All I could think about was how horrible the year before was. I had no idea what Jesus was going to do. I came back from camp, got involved in one of the most amazing college ministries in the United States, and never looked back. Jesus has outdone what I asked Him to do, and has provided me with something so precious. I have an endless amount of friends and people constantly pouring into me. I even have the opportunity to pour into others and lead like I did at camp. Jesus can do so much once you make the decision to seek Him and give up everything else for His heart.

I’m learning and growing more and more every day. Each phase of life I go through is showing me more and more about His heart. I can’t wait to see where my faith will be and where the faith of everyone around me will be in the next six months. I know Jesus is doing radical things in this community.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#16. Upside Down Priorities

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Photo by Erin E. Photography 

My journey with God began when I was 15 and accepted Jesus as my Lord at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes Camp. At that time I thought Christianity was all about rules. I tried to be perfect and quit drinking and cussing, but gave up after six months. I attended FCA camp three more years and each year I did the same thing: committed my life to Jesus, tried to be perfect, and then failed. By the fourth year of this I had pretty much given up that I was ever going to be able to do the Christian thing.

In my twenties, money and power became my god. I was chasing the American dream, making as much money as I could and partying hard. I wanted to become like my father, who was a successful businessman.

By age 28, the wheels had fallen off. I had become an alcoholic and a drug user.  I didn’t want to live anymore. I completed a faith-based program to stop drinking and learned that every addiction is a spiritual issue at its core and therefore requires a spiritual solution. A real relationship with God is needed.

In the next few years, I felt Him pulling me in, but I still had a hard time with Jesus because of my early failures with Him. God sent a Christian mentor to help me, and one day when I was talking with him I asked him what was up with the blood sacrifice of Jesus. I didn’t get it. He said I should ask Jesus my questions—and so I did. We were at a restaurant, and in an out-loud conversational prayer, I talked to God saying, “I need to know the real deal. If Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life…if this is true, I need to know it. I don’t want my fear or pride to block me from the truth.”

This was a turning point in my life. Things started changing. Soon after, one day in my quiet time God sparked my imagination and gave me a picture. I saw a fishing boat in the ocean, like a 50-foot Bertram with a fighting chair in the back. There was a fisherman in the fighting chair with a big rod and reel and a fish on the line. The fish was swimming away from the boat, and I knew that Jesus was the fisherman and I was the fish. There was no real anxiety on the boat. Jesus just watched the reel spin and every now and then He’d tighten the drag on the line to make it harder for the fish to swim away. Finally, the fish tuckered out and allowed the Big Fisherman to reel him in. When I realized Jesus had been there all along and never let me go, I felt an overwhelming love for Him. Before this, the verse “for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son…” just didn’t feel personal to me. But Jesus was showing me how it was personal. He was showing me in a way that I could understand and relate to.

 

Since then, I have been on a 23-year journey to go deeper with God. I have had visions of Jesus that have taught me more about Him—that He has a spirit of play, but also a spirit of absolute intensity when it comes to bringing His children back to Him. Jesus taught me that He wasn’t trying to mold me into a good little boy scout (that I didn’t want to be) or put me in a jail cell. He was trying to keep me out of jail! He wasn’t trying to take away adventure, but to set me on the greatest adventure of my life.

God showed me that He wanted in on all of my life, including my business and finances. He showed me that my priorities were upside down. Once when I was praying, I saw a man spinning lots of plates on sticks, like the man on the Ed Sullivan Show years ago. I knew that this represented me in my business, always doing multiple deals, spinning many “plates” with little time for God or family or even any serious questions. I came out of that meeting with God somehow knowing that I was no longer to be defined by what I did or how much money I made, and knowing that God wanted me to make some big changes. I made a commitment to start no new business deals for three years. I also knew that what I was giving to God financially was a paltry amount, and that had to change. I thought for sure all these changes would result in me going broke. But I did them anyway, and I did not go broke. Although I’m not much into the “Prosperity Gospel,” I did learn that you can’t out-give God, and in this three-year season I was extremely blessed financially. I was also able to spend more time with God and my family.

Where has God led me now? With His help I am now learning to help others; sometimes it is helping people meet Jesus for the first time, sometimes it is helping someone get sober, sometimes it is telling people how much Jesus loves them. I have been abundantly blessed and I am thankful to God for many things. God helped me get sober. He helped me understand my true identity. He opened my eyes to the truth about Him, crafting a personal and powerful message that spoke uniquely to me. He helped me correct my priorities and live a more fulfilling and joyful life. God has given my life true purpose and meaning.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#10. What You Were Created For

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Photo Nicole Tarpoff

 It was late January of my sophomore year of college. Life seemed to be crumbling down around me. My family was in shambles—lies, poor choices, conflict, pain. My heart was broken by a man I thought I trusted. My desperate, sinful choices were overwhelming, like a longing never fulfilled. And in the pit of confusion, I was once again caught in the same traps that the enemy laid before me the previous two decades of my life.

In the midst of each raw circumstance crashing down around me, my mind was even more unsettled than that. I was in the middle of an identity crisis—one I had been battling since birth. Failure. Shame. Heartache. Worthlessness. I couldn’t figure out WHY I was here again. Same mistakes, same fear, same outcome. I had “given my life to Jesus” a year and a half prior to this moment. Aren’t things supposed to get better? The questions, the heartbreak, the sense of failure—all were haunting me as the conviction of the Holy Spirit stirred deep. Will I ever get up from this place with victory?

I truly didn’t know. It was on this night (with these longing questions) that I sung out to the Lord in agony on my bedroom floor: “You know when I rise and when I fall. When I come or go, you see it all. You hung the stars and You moved the sea, but still You know me. . .” The truth of His pursuing love began washing over me in these lyrics. The song continued, “Nothing is hidden from Your sight. Wherever I go, You find me. You know every detail of my life. You are God, and You don’t miss a thing.” The lyrics of Steffany Gretzinger’s song became like an anthem in the pit. It was a moment of DECLARATION over the raw, exposed, bleeding places in my life.

In my wailing melodies, a Strength entered the room. It was sudden and clear. A simple whisper, more powerful than the pain, spoke like a arrow into my heart, “Are you ready to surrender everything?” The presence of God came into the room. It was a revelatory moment. I heard no other words, but with absolute sureness I saw that I must pursue Him for everything He is and says that I am. I saw the condition of my unhealed soul, filled to the brim with wrong beliefs and perspectives that were not in line with His. In this moment of clarity, He was allowing me to make a choice: to keep on going in my path, or to abandon everything I knew and walk toward a path where I could see no end without cost. I made a choice with reckless but hopeful abandon that this moment would change everything.

He made it very easy for me to see the path to take that night. It was almost like a surrender of my will for His. What an exchange of glory! I genuinely asked Him to have everything. It was the night I took a step toward healing. Little did I know it was a massive leap toward discovering who I REALLY am. Not who the world says I am, but One much more eternal than that. He comes to heal the brokenhearted. He comes to set the captives free. He pursues us in the darkest pit. He doesn’t love with conditions. He is true. He is faithful, even when we aren’t. He loves us too much to leave us in our state, but also loves us too much to force His way. He is kind, and His kindness leads us to repentance.

My life changed FOREVER that night. It’s been over four glorious years since this time in my life. I never knew what would be waiting on the other side of surrender. I never understood how paramount saying “yes” to Jesus can be. Our obedience, even when it doesn’t make sense and you know it may hurt, is worth it! He is GOOD—so, so good. I never imagined the anchor He could be for one who KNOWS what it means to be a daughter of the King. Life doesn’t just “get better.” It’s better than that; we learn who we are in any season! We see who He is, holding tightly to these constant promises. Trials will come, but they can’t dictate our unwavering hope any longer. We are free from being tossed by the waves. We are identified by His image. It’s a love stronger than our strength. It is the power of God Himself indwelling in us. It’s our inheritance as children of God.

Pursue healing. Chase the true reality of His promise. You’ll find His Presence is what you were created for. I sure have.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#4 Breaking Chains of Shame

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Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

My God story happened my freshman year of college when I woke up in a fraternity house. Unclothed and unaware of thestranger sleeping next to me, I was flooded with confusion and guilt. I abruptly got up, went to my dorm, balled my eyes out, and thought: “I feel disgusting. What am I doing?” I then thought, “I feel like God probably has a purpose for my life, but I don’t think this is it. Why am I here? This is not what I was made for.”

In that moment, something in me switched. Little did I know, that little thought was really Jesus knocking at the door of my heart, saying, “Let me in. Come. Come know me. Come taste and see.” So I came. In the beginning of this journey, I started to attend our campus ministry to get my life together. I didn’t want to feel so horrible about myself anymore. What I didn’t expect was for God to transform me from the inside out. But that’s what He did.

When Christmas break came around, my Bible study leader dragged me to a conference in North Carolina where I heard Marian Jordan Ellis, founder of Redeemed Girl Ministries, speak for the first time. She was gorgeous, full of life, and she spoke with authority (and a little sass). I loved it. After her sermon, she kicked all the guys out of the room for “women’s time” where she shared her full story with us. She let it rip. She was so real and raw with us, and as she was talking, I felt as if she were speaking right at me. She was pointing out all the shame that we had felt, all the hurt, and all the heartbreak. After being rocked by the fact that our struggles were so similar, she began to talk about her love: Jesus. As she talked about Him, she got choked up and teary-eyed simply telling us how beautiful He is and how He had changed her heart forever. Hearing her speak about Him as if He were so close, I realized that this woman really knows Jesus. This woman really loves Jesus.

I thought to myself, “Okay, I don’t feel as guilty and dirty as I did before, but I feel like there’s more to this Jesus thing than I thought there was. God, I want to know you like that. I want a heart that loves you like that. A heart that loves you more than anything else in the world.”

WOW. Never underestimate the power of prayer. I soon realized that God will never say “no” to a prayer that asks to know Him more. This revelation caused transformation in my life. As I sought Him, He showed up. He opened my eyes to see, and He started blowing my mind. So I prayed for more. “God, I can’t really understand the Bible without you. Please give me understanding.” Prayer answered. More and more, God broke off my chains of guilt and shame, awakened me to His love, gave me understanding of His word, put a fire in my heart, immersed me in amazing communities, gave me true joy, showed me that He SPEAKS to us (WHAT?!), let me see Him miraculously heal my friend’s broken foot right before my eyes (WHAT?!), and brought LIFE to my dry soul. A once depressed, shameful freshmen girl became a new creation—a set free, redeemed, and cherished daughter of God. My life went from complete darkness to light in one year of college.

But He didn’t stop there. As I was reminiscing on that powerful memory of hearing Marian Jordan Ellis, I stopped by her website to see more about her ministry. I noticed that she hosts events all around the nation that gathers college women to hear her story, and it said to contact the “redeemed girl” email. I sent an email, never expecting a reply. Shocked, I read her response: she would be able to come in January 2016.

Following this email, God did all the work. He provided funds to host the event, the venue, and a team of 25 college women from all over campus to lead, plan, and pray for this event. Believe me, I am not administrative. God did all of this. After a semester of prayer, growing in confidence and leadership, and getting the word out, Redeemed Girl Ministries arrived in Lexington, Kentucky all the way from San Antonio. At 7 p.m., we opened the doors of our classroom building to almost 400 college women who showed up for this “Girl’s Night Out” with Marian Jordan Ellis. Boy, they didn’t know what they were stepping in to. After her fun and energetic introduction to these sorority women, Marian, once again, let it rip. Her testimony brought this room to tears, and the Spirit of God encountered these girls. Light hit darkness. Desert souls tasted living water. Jesus walked into these girls’ lives, and hearts were opened. People realized—many for the first time—that they are worth dying for. Over 100 University of Kentucky girls accepted Christ for the first time that night.

God has been bringing waves of revival to Lexington this year, and this was one of them. And it all started with one lost girl whom God gave eyes to see. Thank you Jesus. You’re not finished with us yet, and this God story is not even close to finished. “For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour my Spirit upon your offspring, and my blessing upon your descendants. They shall spring up among the grass like willows by flowing streams.This one will say ‘I am the LORD’s…’ and another will write on his hand ‘The LORD’s…” (Isaiah 44:3-5).

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#2 Encountering A God Who Saves

by

I was raised the son of a Nazarene evangelist. My childhood was spent going from one church camp and revival to the next, all across the United States. The Jesus that my father portrayed behind closed doors was something I didn’t want anything to do with. 

When I was 13 years old, my dad continued to travel and preach, but I stayed home more and began getting involved with rough crowds, smoking and drinking. In my teens, I began smoking marijuana and taking pills, LSD, and cocaine—you name it. Eventually, in my late teens and early twenties, I became a crystal meth addict. This went on for five years; all the while, I was playing in and out of bands. I was vehemently against Christianity; if someone even mentioned Jesus to me, I would cuss them out.

My sister and brother-in-law were praying for me during this time. They gave me a copy of The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel. It was a miracle that I even accepted the book. But I did, and one night I found myself reading it in bed at 3:00 a.m, with a joint burning in the ashtray beside me. But it really wasn’t the book, as much as it was what happened while I was reading the book. The manifest presence of God entered the room—and by “manifest,” I mean that His presence was palpable. I KNEW GOD WAS THERE. Basically, He said, “I am real. Now, what are you going to do about it?”

I then had a non-verbal conversation with God, saying something like, “I know you are real but how do I let go of this empire of garbage that I have built around my life? I want to but I don’t think I can do it.”

In a thought more powerful than words, the Lord said, “You don’t have to; I will.” God knew that because of the way I was brought up, if He revealed Himself to me in church, I might feel manipulated. He approached me in a way where there was no denying that it was Him. In that moment, I gave my life to Christ and stopped selling and doing drugs, and never returned to that world again.

My girlfriend gave her life to Christ a couple of weeks later. We were engaged and eventually married. My relationship with my father was restored and he baptized my wife and I. About a year later, I was hired as a worship leader. That was 15 years ago, and I have been a worship leader ever since. The Lord is still writing my story and I am constantly in awe of His goodness!

Today, I am a worship leader and songwriter for Iron Bell Music in partnership with Essential Worship and Provident Label Group, which is the Christian arm for Sony Music. We just released our first national single, “God that Saves,” which I wrote from my own story of encountering the God that saves. My goal is not fame, but rather to make Him known—to make Him famous through the gifts and the testimony that He has given me.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

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