single mom – A Million God Stories

Photo by Ashley Brown, Shining Light Photography

I grew up in a white-collar home with two loving parents, but we weren’t what you would call a “Christian” family. We began attending church when I was a pre-teen, but it was just a Sunday thing—nothing more. I was a good student and a well-behaved kid, so everyone was surprised when I eloped with my older boyfriend at age 16. It was rocky from the start—as any teenage marriage would be. He wasn’t faithful, and over the two-year period we were married, he left many times. By the age of 19, I was a single mom, working two jobs to make ends meet and staring at a stack of unpaid bills.

One night, I went to a club with some friends to hear a local band. This particular club had girls dancing from 5–9 p.m., before the band came on. One of them struck up a conversation and, by the end of the night, she had convinced me to come back and audition for a job. I worked in the “adult entertainment” industry in two different clubs for a couple of years. There was nothing glamorous or positive about it. I felt degraded, abused and alone; and had to get high to even face getting on stage.

After two years of what felt like hell on earth, I applied for a grant to go to beauty school. I was one of the lucky ones—it’s very hard to get out of the industry once you’ve stepped into it. I worked my way through school and the day I graduated, I left the clubs for good. I worked in a local salon for several years, then married and attended UK. Later work experience included advertising, public relations, community development, and outreach at a local church. A true hodge-podge of jobs, but now it’s amazing to look back and see how God used all those different work experiences to prepare me for what I’m doing now.

In 2000, I had a conversation with my daughter and a friend about reaching out to women in the “adult entertainment” clubs. We brainstormed with my son, who was a bouncer in one of the clubs, for ideas on what would be the best way to help the ladies. He wasn’t a Christian, but he truly appreciated the “good things” he saw our church doing—mission work and outreach to special needs families. He said, “Bring food. Nobody eats well here—they always eat fast food.” None of us knew how to cook, so we asked our friends and soon we had a team of women providing food, and a few good friends with a heart to go into the clubs with us.

Weekly visits to the clubs allow us to develop true relationships. We are very respectful to everyone—providing love, food, and other resources, without judgment, to all of our new friends. When people ask us, “Why are you bringing food to us?” we let them know that God loves us and we love them, and just want to help. Women respond because they know we care.

In 2011, we felt God calling us to do more, so we began praying, and we prayed for a solid year. January 1, 2012, one of the women we’d served in the clubs was murdered. She’d moved from the clubs to online escorting and street prostitution. The phone call about her death solidified our next step. We met with the police to see how we could best help women working on the street. Before the day was over, the police had already referred a woman to us who needed help.

Since that time, the ministry has continued to evolve.

We still deliver to the clubs every week and have developed strong relationships with our friends there—allowing us to help them with community resources and other appropriate assistance.

The street ministry has grown to include a drop-in center downtown. Women from several churches have transformed a former crack house into a beautiful refuge for at-risk women who receive delicious food, clothing, toiletries, referrals to social service and community resources, and life skills classes. We are often blessed to celebrate birthdays, baby showers, and other special events. Most of the women we serve are homeless, so they often take advantage of our living room to rest throughout the day. And when a woman is ready to make significant life change, we assist with referrals to detox and recovery programs.

All of the women we work with—whether in the clubs or on the street—have experienced trauma of some kind: childhood sexual abuse, rape, physical abuse, trafficking. We’ve seen God at work—miracles of change in women’s lives. We see women getting sober, reuniting with families, and becoming stable and productive. Four weeks ago, one of the first women we met in the clubs in 2000 was baptized—we’d been praying for her for 17 years!

When I think about my own story and the nature of God, the one word that comes to mind is GRACE. Because I experienced God’s grace the way I did—so undeservedly, so abundantly—it’s pretty easy to extend grace to others. God took every mistake, every wrong turn I made, and used it for good!

The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

Photo by Shining Light Photography

It was December of 2011 and I was a single mom with a high stress job and multiple chronic health issues. It was the week after Christmas and I was mentally and physically exhausted. I had a rare opportunity to be alone for the night at a cabin on the lake. No phones, no television, no Internet, no responsibilities. I wanted to be alone—alone with God. My life was not healthy. I was anxious and overwhelmed. Life was just too busy, too hard, too stressful. I knew that I needed a change but I didn’t know what or how. I needed God’s help.

I arrived in the afternoon and built a fire. I read parts of several books, including the Bible, and spent time praying for God’s guidance. At dusk, I went outside and stood by the lake near the dock. The sun had nearly set but there was a line of bleeding orange in the sky to the right of the dock. That was west; I took note of the location and went back inside.

The next morning I woke early as planned. It was still dark. I dressed warmly and left the comfort of the warm cabin for the promise of a sunrise over the lake. I walked down to the dock and stood near the railing to the left. I reasoned if the sun set to the right last night, then the sun would rise to the left, the east. I stood on the dock facing east for a long time, listening to the birds, and expectantly waiting for the first glimmer of light. I prayed that God would reveal His will for my life. I longed to feel God’s presence and hope. The water lapped against the shoreline and still I waited. There was no sign of daybreak. Silence. “I am looking for you, Lord,” I prayed.

I felt that if I could experience God’s glorious sunrise and be flooded with that first light, that somehow I would be reassured and feel hope. But there was no sign of the sun, only a light gray band under the dark gray sky. I thought perhaps the dawn would be this way—gray with no color, a black sky fading into a white sky. I began to lose hope. The wind had gotten colder coming off the water and I walked back to the cabin to start coffee. As the coffee perked, I stayed inside, my face pressed against the sliding glass door, still watching the sky. A bit of color appeared—a lavender ribbon separating the layers of light gray. And then much further to the east an orange light blazed through the shadows of the tree branches in the distance.

I knew the beauty would come and go quickly. My gaze was steadfast as the light became brighter, and the eastern sky filled with brilliant hues of pinks, purples, yellows, and orange. The lake began to glisten under the light, and then the most interesting thing happened. A solitary ray of light illuminated the inky water. It was a most distinct ray of light that began from the sunrise and traced a straight course across the lake to the very spot on the dock where I had stood nearly an hour ago, searching into the darkness for the sunrise and God.

I quickly walked down to the dock and stood in the place of light. The experience was so beautiful. It was as if God Himself were revealing His presence and glory to me. Though my question about how or what to change in my life had not been answered that day, one thing was sure: I had a renewed sense of hope and peace. I knew that God was with me and that He would show me the path for a healthier life. And He did.

#95 Abundant Grace

#42 Standing In The Place Of Light

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