#14 Healing Of My Wounded Heart

 Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

When I was 15 years old, I committed what I thought was an unforgiveable sin: I had an abortion. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about it. I was haunted by the memory and the guilt. I became angry and depressed. I tried counseling and even medication, but nothing truly healed my pain.

I kept this terrible secret for five years. Finally, I confided in a friend who led me to an organization called Assurance, and their ReKnew program. God worked through this program to help me deal with everything—the guilt, anger, and depression. I was transformed as I learned of God’s forgiveness and healing through our study of the Bible. At one session, each participant was asked to write down all of their sins on small pieces of paper and then put the papers in vases filled with water. Every one of the papers simply disappeared, dissolving without a trace. Gone. I finally understood completely the grace and forgiveness of our loving and merciful Father.

In the weeks that followed, God continued to mend the brokenness of my heart. We held a memorial service for our children and then were given time to be with God, asking Him to reveal to us what we should do to help us heal. I bowed my head. I had felt that my baby was a girl from the beginning. How I wanted to see her face! I closed my eyes. But it was light, not darkness that filled my eyes. It was as if I was looking through a window, and then . . . there she was! Beautiful long brown hair, a pink dress, she was skipping toward me. I could see her dimples and her teeth. She was happy. She looked right at me and smiled. It was wonderful! I finally felt the peace that had evaded me for so long. I could physically feel God healing my wounded heart.

The Lord has given me the healing that I needed; He knew exactly what to do. I have been redeemed by my Father who loves me unconditionally. I am fully renewed.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

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