#39 He Knew My Heart

Photo by Nicole Tarpoff

A year ago I was at a place in my life when my faith was wavering; I had doubts and questions and didn’t feel close to Jesus.

One night, I had an incredibly vivid dream that changed my faith. I was in the middle of an ancient city surrounded by people, and Jesus was standing in the center. Every person there was able to ask Jesus for the one thing they wanted most; when it was finally my turn I asked the Lord something so trivial I can’t even remember what it was. I left the conversation feeling disappointed. As I walked home alone, Jesus stopped me. He had left the mass of people to talk to me alone. He simply looked at me and said, “I know this is not what you want; what you truly want to ask is to know Me more. You want a personal relationship with Me.”

I immediately woke up in awe of the Lord. He knew my heart and spoke to me when He knew I was too timid to ask for what I truly needed.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.

#38. Ultimate Healing

Photo by Jeff Rogers Photography

Jeff has an unwavering faith and a deep love for God. A few years ago he lost his wife of over 20 years to cancer. As he talks of Sally, he smiles and tears fill his eyes. It is clear that he loved her very much.

Yet as I sat across from him at the Starbucks table, his joy and hope were palpable. Sally’s diagnosis had been a surprise. A petite woman, beautiful inside and out, curly hair, dimples, a zest for life, a dancer, and the picture of health. How could she possibly have had a stage four cancerous tumor the size of an orange on her ovary? Her treatment included surgery, then chemo, then radiation.

Right before Sally’s surgery, while Jeff was praying with a friend for her, he had a vision of Jesus walking down the hospital hallway holding Sally’s hand. She was a child, about five years old, and in a hospital gown, but Jeff knew it was Sally. This was such a comfort and reassurance—Jesus was with her.

The treatments appeared to have worked and Sally was better. During this time, God led Jeff and Sally to begin a healing ministry as part of a small Methodist church they were attending. God healed many people through their ministry. But Sally’s cancer came back and though many prayers for healing were prayed for her, she was not healed—at least not on earth. Instead, she received the ultimate healing—in a place of no death, no tears, and no pain.

Six months before her death, while Jeff was praying, he heard the Lord say, “Release her to me.” Jeff knew what this meant and he did release her, but he didn’t stop praying for her and he continued to praise God. Even in this sorrow, God gave Jeff great comfort and hope. The cancer spread to Sally’s liver and she passed quickly. It was a holy moment . . . at home with Jeff on one side and her sister on the other side, praying for Jesus to take her to Him. It happened only three days after their 20-year anniversary—a milestone that was so important to Sally because this was a second marriage for both of them.

In the months that followed, Jeff suffered great sadness, but God brought a kind couple, Matthew and Nancy, to Jeff to minister to him during his grief and brokenness. One night, Matthew, an ER physician, was speaking at a local church and asked Jeff, who is a photographer, to photograph the event. Matthew had been invited to speak by another ER physician, Missy. After the event, Matthew introduced Jeff to Missy. There was an immediate connection. Shortly after their first date, while in France, Jeff took a photo of two trees intertwined and sent it to Missy. He knew that it was God’s will for him to be with Missy. God had orchestrated their meeting and brought them together. Their marriage has been an incredible gift to both of them and they are both profoundly grateful to God. Missy had never been married and knows that if Jeff had not lost Sally, she would not have this gift. She loves Sally too, through Jeff, and can’t wait for the three of them to be in heaven together some day.

God is faithful; He brings good out of pain. He comforts and provides peace, hope, joy, and love.

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person. 

#37 I May Not Understand, But I Trust

Photo by Shining Light Photography

This story was written while I was working in the Philippines with the International Justice Mission to free slaves.

600,000-800,000 men, women and children are trafficked across international borders each year. Approximately 80% are women and girls. Up to 50% are minors.

     US Department of State Trafficking in Person Report 2007

Slavery is the second largest global-organized crime, generating $150.2 BILLION Per Year. That’s more than the combined revenues of Amazon, Google, and Ebay every year. 

     International Labour Organization

The average cost of a slave today is $90. The average cost of a slave in 1850, in the American South, is  equivalent to $40,000 today.

     Free the Slaves

Nearly 1 in 5 victims of slavery is a child. The average age a teen enters the sex trade in the United States is 12-14  years old. Four billion people are living outside the protection of the law. 

     The United Nations

Discouraged. Dispirited. Disheartened. This is what my soul feels as I read these facts. With out-of-this-world statistics like these, how am I ever supposed to have hope? Working in this fight against human trafficking has almost left me feeling useless, worthless, and hopeless. These statistics aren’t mere numbers, but a harsh truth and reality in our world today. What are you to do when you live in a world where slavery still exists? When you actually witness women being sold—SOLD—for sexual acts against their will? How am I supposed to feel when I hear stories of pimps getting away with their dehumanizing actions because they are not facing any consequences, WHATSOEVER? High profits, low risk? Why not? They are not being punished or held responsible for their unlawful acts and are left to exploit even more women and children. What am I supposed to do when I see a foreign man walking down the street alongside a girl that is less than half his age? He has traveled far and wide just for one night of temporary pleasure and satisfaction, by paying for a girl that could be younger than his very own daughter. What about the stories I hear over and over again of actual families exploiting their very own children on the Internet? What are we to do when we provide every resource possible to a rescued victim, that promises her a new life and future, but yet she believes she is nowhere near worthy, and wants right back where she began? She doesn’t even want to be rescued.

You know what you are supposed to do? Have hope against all odds. Guess who is on our side? JESUS CHRIST! The Savior of the world. If God is for us, who can be against us? Whom shall I fear? NO ONE. When I feel as though nothing I am doing is making a change; when I feel like I have to keep doing more or figure out the answer to this global tragedy, I am reminded that this is not a “Brianna story”…. this is a “God story.” And the best part about this story is that we already know the ending. GOD WINS! Though I feel incapable, I feel worthless, and I am confused out of my mind, God has made known to me His promises. It’s nothing that I can do, but all that He will do.

Just read the story of Abraham.* Abraham received the promise of God that he would have a son when he was 100 years old, but Sarah was old and barren. Despite his old age and weak body, he still believed that the Lord would see His promise to him through. And He did! “Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say ‘it’s hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child.’ Nor did he survey Sarah’s decades of infertility and give up. He didn’t tiptoe around God’s promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what he had said” (Romans 4:19-24).

Abraham became the father of many nations because he had faith in God’s promise. Though it seemed impossible, God came through, as He always does. This is no surprise. “Abraham was first named father and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding not to live on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do” (Romans 4:17-18). I want to have faith like that. When I stand on a mountaintop overlooking God’s mighty, intricately designed and crafted creation, how could I ever doubt His overarching power and sovereignty? How can I doubt Colossians 1:17 when Paul claims: “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together”?

In His timing, justice will reign. Slaves will be rescued. And God will have the victory once and for all. I may not have the answers. I may not understand why the world is so broken. But that doesn’t shake the faith I have in the Lord. The odds may be against us, but God is for us. I will never stop believing or trusting that. I am banking my life on it. One thousand percent. Join with me in believing this. When all seems impossible, when you’re at your breaking point, believe that God has already won. Say yes to the mission He has called you on, and don’t look back. Have faith and hope in Him. “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses” (1Timothy 6:12).

Let’s pray for the girls God has rescued. The ones that are healing. The ones deciding whether they are worthy of His love. And the ones we have yet to reach. Pray for the abusers, the perpetrators, the lost, and the broken. Pray for their heart to lean into Christ’s and to break free from the bondage in this world. Words will never describe how thankful I am to be part of such a massive mission. And no matter how big it may be, how impossible it may seem, I will not give up! Because Christ has not given up on me. In due time, we will see the glory of the Lord prevail. And I can’t wait for that day! He has shown me His glory through His people and His creation. Because of what He has shown me, I will trust Him for that which I cannot yet see. Because of what Christ has done in my life, I have joy, assurance, confidence, complete trust, and surrender, despite the odds the world keeps throwing my way. I encourage you all to hold on to your hope against all odds. I promise, you will not be left disappointed.

“What do you mean, ‘if I can?'” Jesus asked, “Anything is possible if a person believes” (Mark 9:23).

*This message of hope through the faith of Abraham was brought to me at a breaking point while serving with the International Justice Mission combating human trafficking. A dear friend wrote me a letter before I had even left for the journey to the Philippines, and in God’s timing, I opened it when I was feeling hopeless. God is with us, everywhere we go, friends. Into the darkest corner of the world, He is there, making it light.  

A Million God Stories is a Christ-centered ministry which offers a platform for Christians from all streams of Christian faith to give praise for how God has worked in their lives. Christ heals in infinitely creative ways and we acknowledge that His way of helping may differ from person to person.